Six Marys!

The idea of going to my first chemo round was not appealing.  I saw it as just something I had to do to get well.  But on the way there, I began to feel angry, then sad.  I started to cry and couldn't stop even in the waiting room of the Cancer Center.  Mark was his usual calm self.  I checked in as Mary.  The greeter came up to me and said, well isn't that interesting!  You are Mary B. and so am I and there is another Mary B. over in there in that chair. Three Mary B's.  How unusal.  In the meantime, the desk called Mary.  I thought it was for me, but no it was for a forth Mary.  When the fifth Mary checked in Mark and I just looked at each other and laughed.  Five Marys in a room of less than 20.  My name was finally called and I went back to the infusion room.  I picked a corner chair and the process began.  I looked up at one point and on the wall at the nurses station right across from me was a coloring book picture hanging on the wall of a lamb.  On the picture in colorful big letters someone had written, "Hi Mary".  I thought ok, God, I finally get the messege!  You see me.  You eye is on your beloved.  You know and care what is happening.

Accepting the Land in Between

Today, I know I can't change what is out of my control.  I can not know the future or make it happen as I would desire.  But, I can accept where I am today and be thankful for simple the joys of friends, a job I love,
a good cup of coffee and my Father's voice whispering in my ear, "I see you, you are not forgotten by me, ever."